October 17 2024

life update + occult page work in progress

This past week has been super chaotic. I spontantiously flew back home after and incident between me and my boyfriend even though I had planned to stay over at his house until Halloween at the latest. Liam from One Direction, my childhood favourite band, has died. I've been doing more spells, and after an uncrossing spell I've felt so much better about getting shit done, like working out. Though I still have a lot of anxiety regarding gender. Worries that I'm faking it, like what if it's all in my head. Sometimes I'll catch myself enjoying feminine things and my mind will immediately go to "You're a fuckign fraud." I hate that my mind keeps attacking me. Why.

I've settled in better back home though, which is a first. Usually I'm so groggy and in pain from traveling for about a week, but I feel energized, like I can take on anything if I just set my mind to it. I just hope this seasonal depression doesn't kick my ass.

Anyway, I'vr also started working on the occult page. It's probably going to be my most difficult and ambitious project or aspect of this site because I want to start organizing my thoughts and notes into articles that I can refer back to, and hopefully other people can use if they wish. I've spent so much time and money researching in the past few months, I might as well put it to use outside of my own craft.

I don't really have much to say I guess. I don't really feel like talking about myself right now, or talking at all. No real reason, it's just one of those days. Back to the study grind. Wish me luck yall. Hope you all are doing well.